Talking Veterinarian Blues

by Corb Lund

Talking veterinarian preg-test caesarian section vaccination gun blues

Take one

/ G C D7 G / : (with variations to taste)

Well my Daddy's a vet and if I was one too,

The one thing he always taught me to do was get paid

Cash money

Jam and eggs is a kind enough thank you,

But not for the bookkeeper, not for the banker

The margin's thin on treating large animals

Unless it's a purebred or, more understandable

A racehorse of some kind

You see son, city folks pay a high dollar

To make sure Fido ain't hot under the collar

That's where the money is

Boutique animal hospitals

Shopping malls, cocker spaniels


Hang your shingle


There was a blind old woman brings in a bird

With a busted wing and somewhere she heard

We were good doctors

That night it died in the cage, under our care

Of unknown cause but we'll make it square

These things happen

Only one cure though, quick trip to the pet store

Well morning came, didn't want to upset her

For her own good I didn't see a need to tell her

"Not only you boys fixed his wing

But it appears as though you taught him to sing!

You are good doctors!

He ain't never sung before, I've had him for years!"


When you've been in the business as long as I have

you begin to consider the plight of the calves

Fun lovin', frolickin', carefree little critters

The first few months ain't all that bad

They'll never forget the good times they had

But then comes fall and branding times

Stuck in the ribs with a red hot iron

Tag in the ear, shots in the hip,

The dehorning paste and snip, snip, snip

Welcome to the world little buddy, it's no picnic


I've treated my share of sugar beet chokes

If it gets too bad you gotta cut the throat

Salvage the carcass, dress him out on the spot

This one old steer, he choked real bad

In the corner of the pen he's mighty mad

I poked at the beet, it wouldn't dislodge

The farmer says, "I got a dull knife back at the garage"

I said "Go get it!"

Gotta save the meat

I made the jugular cut, the steer jumped to his feet

Shook his head and coughed up the beet

Stood there and bled to death in front of his owner

"Thank you Doc... what do I owe ya?"


Well that's how it goes with the sugar beet chokes

Just don't get me started onnnnnnnnnn... alfalfa bloats